To the point.

I LOL'ed at this one word summation of Bill Ayers at Confederate Yankee.

iTunes, Part II

My brother gave me a $25 iTunes gift card for Christmas. WORD to your MOTHER.

Last night I decided to take a musical trip down memory lane and build up my 80s library. I loved the 80s. I attended both high school and college in the 80s, and that's where most of our best memories lie. Amid some ribbing from Mrs. Warpiper, who totally does not understand the greatest decade ever (for the same reasons I do not understand the 70s), I began surfing. Let me say that I put together a killer library of stuff that I haven't had since my last cassette player went the way of the dodo. It was a nostalgic stroll through a wonderland of Eurotrash big haired electronica. A Flock of Seagulls, The Fixx, The Police, Talk Talk, Echo and the Bunnymen, The B-52's, ABC, The Clash, and, well, you get it.

Anyhow, after downloading all the music, I decided to throw together a playlist. There is a new function on iTunes called "Genius" and it will automatically make playlists based on the selection of one song. So, I selected The B-52's "Rock Lobster". I hit the "Genius" button, and an entire playlist of 50 songs popped up. It was excellent. It included pretty much nothing but 80s music, with a pretty good representation of all the music I had downloaded, plus a bunch of stuff that was already in my library. Everything from Toad the Wet Sprocket (not quite 80s) to The Clash to Rush (yes, Rush- I love Rush) to Simple Minds.

I started playing the lineup as I did other things on the computer, and I must have zoned out for a while, because the playlist had been going for about 20 minutes when I was snapped out of my zone by something that sounded out of place. It was Dan Fogelberg. Not just any Dan Fogelberg, but one of his mellowest tunes: "Longer." Now, Dan Fogelberg (God rest his soul) put out some really cool stuff in his day, and he IS associated with the 1980s. However, how in the hell could anyone honestly build a playlist off of "Rock Lobster" and wind up with "Longer" on the dang list?? It's a buzz killer. It really busted up the marble game for me, I can tell you. So, the iTunes platform allows you to hit the Genius button as much as you want until you arrive at a playlist you like. I hit the button again. Another great playlist, with good ol' Dan Fogelberg stuck in the middle of it again. After five do-overs, I still had Dan in the lineup. The same song. I swear if I listened hard enough I could hear evil giggling from the same pencil necked geek up at iTunes headquarters who took "Dixie Chicken" off of Little Feat's "Waiting for Columbus." 

I swear I didn't even know I had Dan Fogelberg on my iPod. Mrs. Warpiper must have put it there. I feel like Austin Powers disavowing the Swedish sex toy.

Waiting, waiting.

The calls for the January 2009 FSO orientation class came and went a couple weeks ago. Now that the dust has settled, it looks like I am somewhere in the area of number 30 on the Consular list. The State Department has now given extensions to folks who were set to age off the list, so this makes it seem as if they expect that there will be more positions to offer than they will have candidates for. Current foreign service officers advise that during this time, one should just live one's life as usual and not get to worked up about the wait. I have been doing a pretty good job of that, I think.

It is getting harder to do now that the list continues to shrink and my rank gets higher.

Yes, blogging was nonexistent during the holidays. I like to unplug from time to time. A couple highlights from the last two weeks:

Redskins - Giants:

Also, when we got back to Chucktown, Tater decided that she did not want to wait for her bath, so when Mrs. Warpiper wasn't looking, she hopped into the tub as it was filling up.... fully clothed.

Two thousand year old credit crisis!

I have always been a history buff, particularly military history and the history of the ancient Celts. In regards to the latter, my interest in the Celts necessarily led to an interest in ancient Rome during the time of Julius Caesar, because he wrote one of the more definitive accounts of Celtic (Gaulish) society. Although much of Caesar's account of the Gauls has been disputed as the writings of a general seeking to belittle and dehumanize his foes, one cannot enjoy a history of Celtic society without also appreciating the history of the society that ultimately did them in.

That was an overly long preamble to my original intent in this post, which was to say that I am fascinated whenever someone points out a parallel between Roman history and the course of our own nation. Perhaps the parallels between our two societies are only natural given the fact that our governmental and financial systems are so similar. What is sometimes disheartening is that we do not seem to use history as a guide in this country. I am not saying that the Goths and Visigoths are knocking at our door just yet (though there ARE Goths and Visigoths who would LIKE to be knocking at our door). However, the only society in history that most closely matches our own is the ancient Roman republic. I think that careful study of where the Romans went wrong can be instructive for our present endeavors. That is not to say that making the same mistakes will lead us down the same road, but that we might at least incorporate the lessons of the ancient past into the endeavors of the present.

Whew. Anyhow, Tigerhawk has found a fascinating reference from Tacitus' Annales pertaining to a little credit crunch in Rome during the time of Tiberius. Read the whole thing. Regardless of who we hold responsible for our current woes, nobody can deny the parallels.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.....

So a couple nights ago the Warpiper was on patrol on the mean streets of Chucktown and rode up on a couple guys beating the crap out of a third guy. They had him down in the middle of the street and were stomping on him. After jumping out of the patrol car, detaining the beaters and questioning the beatee, it turned out that this was a robbery in progress that ol' Sarge had thwarted. I think that the two perps didn't run because they thought I had a Taser in my hand, but in actuality I had my pepper spray in my hand. Why they didn't run I will never know, because I would have only caught one of them.

I think that one of these days I will chronicle a whole shift. Half my family thinks I sit at a desk or something. I guess the reason I have not done this before is because 1) after 16 years it just isn't as interesting or surprising as it used to be, and 2) a typical day or night on the streets might not be all that believable to the un-annointed.

I promise that one of these days sometime soon I will actually do this. With pictures.

Happy Birthday USMC.

In the age of sail, fighting ships employed men to climb up in the rigging and fire muskets down into enemy ships. These men were called marines. History will show that it was the United States that put the capital "M" in Marines. No military unit in any country in the world possesses the high reputation held by the U.S. Marine Corps.

In a world where organizations like Code Pink can slander the name and history of the Corps, it is important for those of us who know the true sources of liberty to pause for a moment or a few on 10 November and remember the men of Tripoli, Chapultepec, Belleau Woods, Iwo Jima, Chosin Reservoir, Hue, Grenada, Panama, Beirut, Kuwait, Kandahar and Fallujah.

To all my family and classmates who "claim the title,"

Happy Birthday and Semper Fidelis.

More good sportsmanship from the right.... or can I call it Patriotism?

Tigerhawk has removed his McCain-Palin bumper sticker. I agree with him; come January Barack Obama will be my President, too.

There is also a link to Screedblog in the post, and the quote obviously puts my thoughts out there with much more economy than I was able to muster. Here it is:

"Right or wrong - and I hope for more of the former, obviously - he’s my President now, dammit, and I’m not going to spend four years treating him with the contempt the Kos side heaped on Chimpy McPretzelchoker."

Some changes I am hoping for.

Thank God this election is over. At the very least I can look forward to four years without the heartburn of listening to the left squeal about war crimes, how inherently racist America is, and how Colin Powell lied, people died. (Wait a second... or was that GWB?) I wish Obama's politics were closer to my own, but it nevertheless makes me proud of my country that just forty some-odd years after Little Rock we have once again proven that we are better than the Europe that looks down its nose at us. When France, Germany or Britain shows us a black or Arab prime minister, then they will be allowed to call themselves our progressive equals. I'm not holding my breath.

I am hoping that Obama can execute the duties of his office as well as he campaigns. I hope that he finds the strength and fortitude to resist his party when personal integrity dictates that he do so. If he does, he will have my unreserved respect. Unlike a liberal if McCain had won, Obama still has the opportunity to win me as a supporter. His politics do not make that very likely, but I will not oppose him simply because he is a Democrat or because I somehow hate the left at all costs. I also hope that he reminds our world neighbors of the age old fact that America can be a best friend or a worst enemy. I hope he has the spine to be a worst enemy if the situation merits it. We need the strength to do that now even more than in the last eight years.

There are many challenges ahead for Barack Obama, but for now in these early days, my only Christmas wish this year is that people will show more respect for the Office of the President. The acrimony and downright evil behavior on the part of the left toward President Bush over the last few years has been one of the most disgusting displays I have ever witnessed. Despite his failings, I never could have made pictures of Bill Clinton comparing him to a chimpanzee, and I cannot think of anything Obama could do that could tempt me to behave that way about him, either. Either way, The hateful behavior and utter lack of respect toward the President is the creation of the left in this country. It is their baby, they raised (or lowered) the bar to soaring heights (or black depths). I hope that Obama at some point is able to remind his supporters that this type of behavior is unacceptable. Politics aside, I do believe that Obama thinks this. I do get the feeling that he disapproved of some of the Jerry Springer antics. If he truly believes in unity in this country, then the French Revolution-esque political behavior is one of the first things he will need to address. You do not endear people by calling their President a chimp, a Nazi, or a war criminal. This is a golden opportunity for conservatives such as myself to show the left that as much as we might disagree with the policies and politics of Barack Obama, we would never stoop to the levels that their own mouthpieces such as Huffpo, Daily Kos and MoveOn did. We will not oppose Barack Obama simply because he is Barack Obama and that even when he is right we will oppose him. We will oppose those things we disagree with, and we will embrace those things we agree on.

Now is the time for both Obama and folks like me to set an example for the left to follow in future, so that in four years when we install a new conservative President the left will have a model to emulate.

Shoot! I could have voted for Obama!

I never fall for "pie in the sky" promises from politicians, but it looks like Barack Obama will really make me rich if he is elected POTUS.

According to Tigerhawk, Obama and Biden are redefining "rich." Apparently, according to Obama, "rich" meant an annual salary of $250,000 just a few weeks ago. Now he is saying that the amount is actually $200,000. Joe Biden would like to lower that to $150,000.

If they win the election, by next year even I could be rich under the Obama plan. Now that's a change I can believe in!

I voted today.

Just some rambling thought here as I contemplate my indecision in the polling booth today.....

Waited in line for about 1.5 hours to vote. Every other time I have voted in my life, I have never seen such a large percentage of black folks. I would say that the percentage was 75% black, 15% white and 10% other. The Republican Party seriously should have put J.C. Watts on the ticket. I'm not kidding. I like him better than McCain.

There is a laundry list of reasons why you can vote early. Mine was that I will be working extended double shifts during the election. I wonder what the CPD is worried about? Perhaps the golfers out at the Country Club of Charleston are going to burn down the City Market if McCain loses? The area soccer moms are going to riot? Since we are so worried about conservatives rioting and burning down neighborhoods, perhaps they should give the whole police department the day off. After all, we're mostly conservatives. /sarcasm off/

There was a gentleman behind me in line at the polls. He spoke with a Persian accent. We had a nice conversation about cell phones. He mentioned that he would be traveling overseas for about four months and would not be here on election day. He was wondering if he should buy a quad-band cellphone and get a sim card at his destination, or if he should just buy a cheap phone. I asked him where he would be going and he said Iran. He has family there and is going home to visit for a while since he was laid off a few months ago. He apparently worked for a local medical equipment company. He invented a special bed that shifts air around inside the mattress and keeps the patient moving. It is used for people with fluid in their lungs, such as those with pneumonia. The company he worked for owns the intellectual rights to his work, so they paid him a small lump sum for his invention and then laid him off. I wish it was appropriate to ask people how they voted. I was dying of curiosity. (BTW- I told him to just buy a cheap phone in Iran rather than the expensive quad band one.)

So... indecision.

I got home and told Mrs. Warpiper that I had 'hovered.' As in, I hovered over the button for my candidate for POTUS. I had a choice between voting my party or voting for principle. During my reading this week, I was reminded of a quote by John Adams this week in the comments section of a local blog. He said,

“Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”

The words came to me as I stood there, stuck in indecision. I had filled out my entire ballot with the exception of the one most important block. I voted against some amendments to the SC State Constitution, and I voted against a couple of liberal in conservatives' clothing folks. One of them was a sitting U.S. Senator who supports amnesty for illegal immigrants. In all, I mostly voted the conservative ticket with a couple of "take that, you asshole" votes. When the ballot was completely filled out, I came back to the POTUS. I had to ask myself if my indecision was partly caused by the fact that SC is going to be a red state no matter what I did. Did the knowledge that this election is not going to come down to South Carolina's electoral votes as the scale tipper make me suddenly more principled? Or, if I felt the election was going to go down to the wire even in SC, would my vote be influenced by that? I still hovered over the button.

As President Adams' words came back to me, my decision became so clear that I could not figure why I hesitated so long. I voted for a domestic (small government) immigration (secure borders and no amnesty), fiscal (conservative) and foreign (Boltonesque) policy that I can agree with. There was only one party on the ticket that fit the bill.

I looked in the mirror a little while ago. Adams was right. It is a sweet reflection.

Gratuitous Tater

So the last few weeks have seen Tater doing Fall things. Like hayrides for a buddy's birthday.

There were cows.

Tater ain't afraid of no cows. Not even cows with foot long tongues that try to slurp her little hands into their mounths.

Tater likes to eat pumpkin guts while the Warpiper carves. Well, not really.... she just tastes them and then spits them out. Yum.

Mrs. WP had to distract Tater so I could get the dang pumpkin finished. A true artiste cannot be distracted.

Happy Halloween!

Al Dora, Baghdad.

My buddy Steve has gone back to Iraq for a second tour on the police training mission. When we were there in 2004 and 2005 things were a little rough, to say the least. Steve sent me an email the other day with a BBC video report about one of the neighborhoods in our area of operations. Although we always knew that things were going to get better, it is amazing to see the changes in Al Dora.

Steve's email:

Hi All,

Thought you might be interested in seeing some news from Iraq:

** Return to Dora, Iraq **
Once known as 'the worst place in Iraq', the Baghdad suburb of Dora has made some remarkable changes for the better.


Video

Dora is a neighborhood in south Baghdad. When I was working at Rustamiyah we lived farily close to there and used to travel through now and again. We also had teams that operated in that area with and without military support. I don't know if it was the worst place in Iraq but it was pretty bad. (Erik, you can attest to that.)

With a lot of hard work the Iraqis and the coalition have made a lot of headway there and throughout Iraq. It isn't perfect by a long, long shot and the cooperation and relative calm are very fragile - anything could cause a return to the bad ol' days. Still, progress is possible and it is happening.

Interestingly, when I was here before (and now) there were (and are) US police advisors imbedded with those military units but they don't get mentioned in the news story. I guess that's fair enough. The military's signature goes on this project so they get the credit.

Anyway, the video is about 20 minutes and for the BBC, it is pretty even handed.

Steve

Baghdad is representative of Iraq as a whole. As Baghdad goes, so does the rest of the country. I would think that some places in and around Mosul and Tal Afar were worse than Al Dora back in 2004, but it was a very bad place nonetheless. I'll go out on a limb here and say that this story probably won't get much airtime here in the U.S. Probably because it doesn't involve a friendly body count.

Sometimes we follow these things up....

Confederate Yankee has the goods on a case of journalistic make-believe here.

Note to reporters: If you're going to make up allegations that someone shouted "Kill him!" when Obama's name is mentioned at a McCain-Palin political rally, make sure there aren't any Secret Service guys in the crowd. You see, we cops like to do follow up investigations (unlike a lot of the media these days), and we are generally able to get to the truth of things relatively quickly.

Chris Hackett of the Scranton Times-Tribune found out the hard way that Secret Service guys like to thoroughly investigate claims of threats against past, current or potential Presidents.

The ailing bachelor

So, Mrs. Warpiper hauled herself and the Tater off to D.C. for a week with her folks. Woo Hoo! A week of lounging around the condo in nothing but boxer shorts, watching the History Channel and C-SPAN, and occupying the reading room for as long as I want!!

Well, Robert Burns had it right as "The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men Gang aft agley...", because Sunday night after Mrs. Warpiper departed for the north, The Warpiper came down with an intestinal malady which has me laying around the condo in my boxer shorts, watching the History Channel and C-SPAN, and occupying the reading room for MUCH longer than I intended.

To avoid calling in sick more than one day, I am in a classroom setting at work in preparation for the new computer system we are setting up at the Cop Shop. The instructor thinks I am a very busy person in that I leave the classroom every ten minutes. Indeed.

Perhaps NYC could hire me to explain it to these people?

Yesterday, the union that represents teachers on the New York City public schools sued the school district over a policy that prevents teachers from wearing political buttons or insignia.

I think that the NYC public schools could save a lot of settlement money if they just give all of that money to me, and allow me to 'splain this to those teachers. Here's what I would tell them:

You are public servants. You are a representative of the government that pays you. As a police officer, (also a public servant) I am not allowed to wear partisan political insignia on my uniform. If the reason is not clear to you, then consider for a moment that I am wearing my McCain/Pain button on my uniform and you have an Obama/Biden bumper sticker on your car. I pull you over. (Not because of your sticker, but because you are speeding.) You could rightfully argue that I singled you out for enforcement because of your sticker, and your proof of my lack of impartiality is the button on my uniform. That's why I cannot wear political buttons, or any other partisan insignia that might suggest that I have a soft spot for one group or the other.

When you decided to teach in a PUBLIC school system, you gave up the right to espouse partisan politics during the course of your duties. Your argument that the ban on political buttons at work violates your right to free speech does not apply. You do not have the right to unbridled free speech when you are working on the puclic nickel. When you get finished teaching your re-written history at the end of the day and you go home, THEN you can put on your political button, and parade around naked giving your "O" hand salute and do your bong hits all you want. However, while you are performing your public duties to children whose parents are required by law to send them to your classroom you will toe the government line of impartiality and teach from the watered down, politically correct government-provided texts. You will dress professionally, without political accoutrements.

You may argue that our jobs are somehow different; that as a police officer, I have a duty to impartiality, while as a teacher, you do not. You would be wrong. If you teach at a private school, then you would be allowed to do whatever that school's policy allows. You could even wear political buttons if the policy permits. If parents were not legally compelled to send their children to your classroom (which would be the case in a private school), then you might have a case. Since those parents have little choice but to enroll their children, then their childrens' right to a free and appropriate public education outweighs your right to free speech through the display of partisan insignia.

It will be very interesting to see how this case unfolds. If the NYC schools settle or fold, shame on them.

Faces of the Tater

Tater, Let's go sit in the bouncy seat!




Let's change your diaper first.



Taken on 13Nov07. (2 months)

Isn't this one of the reasons we got into this mess?

I have tried and will continue to try to avoid overt political commentary on this blog. Perhaps at some point in the future I will create a separate blog. That way I can espouse my conservative views so that my liberal friends won't have to wade through the racism, intentionally starved children, guns, naked greed and general mean spiritedness to get to simple family news and pictures of the Tater.


That said, I think that the recent mortgage crisis is a political mess that affects even the least political citizens. In other words, we can't hide from it, no matter how detached we might think we are. The financial tendrils of the mortgage industry are everywhere. The fallout is going to be everywhere, too. (In case you were wondering, casual reader, the devaluation mess and resultant bailout are NOT fallout. No, the fallout is in the mail. We ain't suffered it yet.)


Anyhow, I cannot for the life of me understand why it is that we allowed Congress to ramrod this bailout through so quickly. It was bound to be full of pork, special interest money, and more. What is unconscionable to me is that not only is it full of the aforementioned, it also allows for the FURTHER devaluation of mortgages through re-negotiation and debt forgiveness. Why would we give organizations like ACORN a piece of the bailout when it is the practices of this and similar organizations that played such a large role in what necessitated the bailout in the first place? Michelle Malkin's blog has a very good article on this issue here.

This made my day.

An Airman returns home after a fourteen month deployment and greets his two dogs who have not seen him in all that time. Dave in Texas at Ace of Spades HQ posted the video here. Priceless.



"They never forget us." Indeed.


Thanks to Consul At Arms for finding this.

Argh.

Mrs. Warpiper, Tater and I went to Boone, NC this weekend to watch the Bulldogs play Appalachian State. Unfortunately, The Citadel's football team did not show up. Instead, there were a bunch of impostors wearing their uniforms who allowed ASU to run the score up to 41-7 at HALFTIME. To the Dogs' credit, they came out and played in the second half and held ASU to 7 points while scoring 14. Still, you can't spot the Mountaineers 41 points and expect to not be blown out. Hopefully this will be the wake-up call we need and the Dogs will come out hungry against Elon next week.

Other than the disappointing showing from a Bulldog team that was supposed to compete with ASU this year, the weekend weather was great. They actually have four seasons up here, as opposed to the two we have in Charleston (10 months oppressive and 2 months warm).

Matel-in-Iraq's take on the financial meltdown scare-mongering.

John Matel at Matel-in-Iraq gives us his two cent's worth in reference to the Chicken Little predictions from the media back here in the States. It is a very interesting read, and pretty much sums up my thinking on the current "mess."

John is a FSO who just returned from Iraq after serving on one of the Provincial Reconstruction Teams (PRT). Welcome back, and job well done.

Hat tip to Consul-At-Arms.

Bulldogs are 1-0 in the SoCon, Next Week: Appalachian

We ate Western Carolina's lunch this past Saturday. We had well over 500 yards of total offense, and the Catamounts did not break 200 yards until late in the 4th quarter. This sets up an interesting matchup between The Citadel and Appalachian State this coming weekend. I don't think we are necessarily better than the Mountaineers, but considering how they have been playing the last two weeks, they are ripe for an upset.

The game this past Saturday was our Military Appreciation Day. There was a flyover by some Super Hornets after the National Anthem, and the Golden Knights parachuted into the stadium with the game ball (they all nailed their landings right on the block "C"). The coin toss was done via video feed from the USS Iwo Jima, which is currently on station in the Persian Gulf. One of the Marine pilots on board is an El Cid grad and threw the coin. It was kind of neat, but I understand that it was ceremonial only, since the NCAA requires that the actual toss should occur on the field.

Warpiper and Tater enjoy a cool bevvy before kickoff.

A note on the new title picture

I remembered taking the new picture in the title window but had to dig through old CD ROMs from my Iraq days to find it. I took it in August 2004 during R&R from Baghdad. I traveled to Scotland to attend the World Pipe Band Championships in Glasgow. After the Worlds, I traveled around Scotland with my friend Bill and his wife Jessica. This particular picture was taken near Stonehaven, south of Aberdeen. We were at Dunatter Castle (A well preserved ruin where the Mel Gibson version of "Hamlet" was filmed) which is perched on a cliff overlooking the sea. Bill stood at the top of one of the cliffs, and I took the picture from about 300 feet below him. A seagull flew into the frame as I was taking the picture.

The actual day was memorable in that we had decided to drive out to the castle and set off from Stonehaven. As we got close to the site a thick fog rolled in. We found the parking lot off the road, and got out of the car to walk to the castle. The visibility was less than 100 feet, and the walk to the cliffs where the castle was perched was about 1/4 mile. Having never been there before, we did not know how far it was. Once we got near the castle (according to the signs) we still were socked in and could see nothing. According to the signs, the castle and the cliffs leading down to the sea were right in front of us. We could see nothing. It was rather ominous knowing that there was supposed to be an imposing structure in front of us, but all we could see was the gray mist. Within a few minutes, the fog bank began to pass, and very slowly a dark shape began to appear in front of us. It slowly materialized into the outline of a castle. I began snapping pictures. The sequence of pictures that I captured as the cliffs and the castle slowly came into view were probably the most breathtaking photos I have ever taken. It was amazing to me how we went from pea soup to brilliant sun in just about ten minutes.

The full quote by Albert Einstein:

"Let us not forget that knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. ... I claim credit for nothing. Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insects as well as for the stars, Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper."

FS Blogs

Over the last several months I have tried to absorb every smidgeon of information I could get my hands on about the US Foreign Service. Somehow, the State Department's website just doesn't get into enough detail for me, particularly when it comes to the FS lifestyle. My sidebar has some favorite blogs by Foreign Service Officers. I will likely add some others as time goes by.

Adventures in Good Countries is a particularly well written blog by a young woman who spent her first junior officer tour in Japan. She is a very gifted writer, and her journey from the time she was hired, through orientation in DC and her tour in Japan are well documented. She really should write a book; I find her style to be rather prosaic and hard to "put down."

The Not-So-Holy City

Apparently somebody realized that we were lagging behind in our average murder rate in Charleston, so we had two in the last few days. Here's one that occurred in my area, and here's the other one.

Princeton, Charleston Games, etc.

Well, just a few points separated the Grade III band competition at Boone Hall this Saturday. The final order of finish was:

1. St. Andrews
2. Atlanta
3. Charleston Police
4. NC State

We actually had two firsts and one third in piping, and then thirds in drumming and ensemble. Piping is weighted more heavily than the others, but in the event of ties, the ensemble score is given preference. We'll polish a little more and have at 'em at Stone Mountain in October.

While we were doing the pipe band thing, The Citadel was playing Princeton here in Charleston. We listened on the radio while the Bulldogs came out flat in the first half. At the end of the first two quarters, we found ourselves down 17-7. I think coach Higgins appealed to the team's manhood in the locker room (I can just hear it now.... "Are you going to let these 1500 SAT trust fund babies come in here and BEAT you??")

The 'Dogs responded admirably and outscored the Tigers 30-7 in the second half. Final score, 37-24.

In related news, the Princeton band came to town and caused some trouble on our campus prior to the game. Apparently they had to be escorted by senior cadets for the rest of their visit so that the rest of the Corps didn't 'disappear' them. Here's the Ken Burger article on the band from today's Charleston P&C. Later at the game, one of the band members had a bullhorn and was leading chants like "We study abroad, you chase broads," and "We are here by choice, you are here by force," and other similar taunts relating to the difference in average SATs. All good fun, but by that time the Corps was in no mood to take anything from the Princeton band. All in all it was a pretty good peep into the attitudes of the Princeton band.

When our band goes up there next year maybe they can play "Dixie" all day long. I wonder if the Princeton crowd will be offended, or if we will be able to plead the "all in good fun" case as well?

There's a possum in my house, and other assorted absurdities.

Someday, maybe this year, maybe sometime years from now, I will no longer be a cop. There are many things I will miss about police work when it is over, to be sure. Sometimes you actually get to do some good. Today, however, I had a day chock full of things that I will not miss. These things generally happen with semiregular frequency. Some of these things might seem a little strange or unbelievable to you, casual reader, but cops don't even bother telling these stories to each other, because they are old hat, boring, and not really novel after you have been on the job for a few years.

Some Personal Favorites

"There's a possum in my attic!" I have this fantasy where I roll up, get out and walk in the complainant's house, pull out my pistol and shoot the [insert wildlife name here], walk out, get back in my car, and drive away without saying a word.

"Hey officer, can you give me a ride?" This is usually asked by a guy with his girlfriend in tow downtown at around 2 a.m. after barhopping on foot all night. They have usually walked so far that they don't want to walk back to their car. OR, some drunk's ride has left him and rather than saving that last 10 bucks for a cab, he decides to drink it up and then flag down a cop. I usually point to the sticker on the side of my car and ask him if he sees the word "TAXI" in there anywhere. This usually leads to him saying......

"I pay your salary!" Yeah? Well you pay astronaut's salaries too, buddy, but they aren't going to let you bogart a ride to the ISS on the shuttle. One time, I told a drunk at a party, "So YOU'RE the guy! I can't wait to tell the rest of the cops, you've got one heck of a beating coming if we don't get a raise like next week!"

"If you didn't have that badge on, I would kick your a**!" I just love this one. It is usually a little bitty skinny guy with a mullet and zits on his face who says it.

"I stepped in a manhole." I actually got this one today. This lady was walking along Calhoun Street, and apparently stepped on an unseated manhole cover. It wobbled on her, but did not fall over and she was unhurt. She continued on about her business, went shopping, and then returned home about four hours later. THEN she called the police. She wanted to tell us that we were not doing a very good job keeping the city safe (I guess by not checking manhole covers) and that she wanted to let us know that we needed to go check the cover now, because somebody could get hurt. I wanted to tell her I would check it in about four hours.

"My daughter/son is refusing to go to school." This is usually an eight year old we are talking about here, folks. I doubt Mom would have ever called the police for this one, just a hunch. An ambulance, maybe, but not the cops.

"You're just trying to make your quota." Yep. Five more like you and I get the toaster oven.

What the....?!? No Dixie Chicken??

Since coming into the modern age and acquiring my iPod, I have converted my entire music collection over to MP3 format and now I carry years of musical accumulation around in my pocket. When I first installed iTunes on my computer (the program that allows the iPod to interface with the computer and ALSO allows you to purchase music online- for the one or two people left in the world who don't know this...) I browsed the online music and actually made a couple purchases. Within about five minutes I realized that I could easily put myself into debt similar to going to medical school two times if I wasn't careful.

Death by iTunes goes a little like this:

Hmmm... iTunes is suggesting some more albums by this same artist...



Ok, that's a tune I like.... [click] (.99 cents)

Hmm. This one too.... [click] (.99 cents)

Oooh! I love that album! [click!] ($12)


Twenty minutes later, I have racked up twenty bucks in instant gratification online one click buying. A little chill went down my spine. The shameless capitalists at iTunes had put all of these little suggestions on my sidebar, and I bit like a catfish on a hunk of rotten chicken liver. I slowly backed away from the computer that day, and I am glad to say that in three months I have bought nothing from iTunes. I felt like someone who took a dose of heroin, loved it, and then realized that I was staring into the endless abyss of addiction and immediately decided to never go near it again...

...until yesterday.

Three months of being on the iTunes wagon and I fell off. I was watching TV and I saw a reference to the band Little Feat. I LOVE Little Feat. I used to have their live album, "Waiting for Columbus," and I even played some covers of their music back years ago when I played with De Collard Peoples. Since I used to buy an average of about 2-3 CDs a week back before Mrs. Warpiper made me fiscally responsible, I figured, "What the heck? I haven't bought any music in three months. My copy of "Waiting for Columbus" has been missing for years, I'll just log on to iTunes and buy it."

I log on, and go to the Little Feat section. There it is.... "Waiting for Columbus," in all its cyber-electronic glory. Before clicking "buy," I decide to read the reviews and comments on the album by all of the other musically brilliant people like me who love Little Feat.

The first commenter notes that this album is not a good buy because the iTunes version is missing a couple songs. I figure that this is no problem since the missing songs are probably a couple of the throwaways. The commenter goes on to say that "Dixie Chicken" is one of the missing tunes.

[Insert sound of needle ripping off a record here]

NO DIXIE CHICKEN?!!?

Let me give a few analogies that will illustrate this sacrilege for those of you who are not familiar with the greatest Southern rock band of all time (..and I ain't talking about Skynyrd here, folks.) Not having Dixie Chicken on your copy of Waiting for Columbus is like....

1. Going to the local aquarium and finding out that they don't have sharks.

2. Taking the kids to Disney World to find that they have dumped Mickey from the lineup.

3. Having a Moon Pie but no RC.

4. Catholicism without the Pope.

5. Heck, forget the Pope... try Christianity without Jesus.

5. Going to see your favorite college football team play only to learn that the school has banned tailgating. (This won't apply to you Liberty fans... and don't tell me that you allow tailgating, because tailgating ain't tailgating without beer.)

Anyhow, you get the picture, casual reader.

Not having Dixie Chicken on this album is more than an insult. It is abhorrent. Dixie Chicken was Little feat's signature song. It is their Stairway to Heaven. It is their Dust in the Wind. It is their Scarborough Fair. It is, without a doubt, one of the greatest Southern rock anthems. iTunes has my eternal enmity for this slight. There is some pencil-necked computer nerd executive at iTunes that needs to have his office burned and his little pencil neck squeezed until his head pops off for making this goofy, uninformed decision. iTunes can take responsibility for my contribution to anthropogenic global warming (if that's your cup of tea), because I will forevermore do what I did yesterday.

I drove 8 miles to the dang CD store and bought my replacement copy of "Waiting for Columbus" on CD, and loaded it onto my iPod.

Stupid iTunes.

The Charleston Scottish Games

This year's Charleston Scottish Games will be held at Boone Hall Plantation, Saturday, 20 September.

Grade III bands competing will be the Charleston Police Pipes and Drums, the St. Andrews Presbyterian College Pipe Band, and the Atlanta Pipe Band. We will be playing the March, Strathspey and Reel sets for the competition. We have been neck and neck with Atalnta in previous competitions this year (Gatlinburg and Greenville). Hopefully we can take them this weekend. St. Andrews is something of an unknown quantity, but the word is that they will be the team to beat this year.

Gratuitous Photo of The Tater

The first taste of cake. Very exciting. Shortly after this picture was taken, she decided that squashing the cake and putting the icing in her mouth was an inefficient way to perform this operation. So, she leaned forward and buried her face in it. The future engineer.

Taken by Mrs. Warpiper on 12 September 2008.

We're Number One!!

Well, if we can't be number one in education, at least we can top another significant list. The Charleston Post and Courier delivers the goods.

South Carolina was fourth in killings, but according to the FBI report, what makes us so hospitable is our number of aggravated assaults.

The good stuff:

What pushed South Carolina higher than other states was the number of aggravated assaults, which includes everything from a non-fatal shooting to a beating. Its total of 597 per 100,000 people last year was an increase of 2.9 percent over the year before, the highest anywhere outside Washington, D.C. (Emphasis by Warpiper)

In other words, we'll give you a good old fashioned butt-whoopin down here. To be fair, the Uniform Crime Report publishes aggravated assaults that are listed under the guidelines of the National Incident Based Reporting System (NIBRS) which defines aggravated assaults by a number of factors, including whether an object was used in the assault. In other words, if I whack you with a feather duster, then that's an aggravated assault under NIBRS.

At the time of this writing, there are about 150 comments on the P&C online article. Without looking at them, I can be sure that there is a healthy debate between the "lock 'em up and throw away the key" folks, and the "we don't give people enough opportunities and counseling/treatment" folks.

Most cops will tell you that there is another factor, although this one is obviously not the sole cause. Pressure is continually on police administrators to reduce crime. Those chiefs and sheriffs pass this pressure on to their troops, and it ultimately turns into a numbers game. Make arrests! Couple this with ever increasing accountability, where even the most frivolous complaint of rudeness or misconduct can cause weeks, months, or years of hardship for an officer, and eventually that officer comes to the age old realization that the way you get in trouble is to actually do your job. This leads to the secondary realization that nobody ever got in trouble in law enforcement for doing nothing. It is called de-policing, and it as real as whacking your wife with the feather duster.

Keep Talking, Einstein.

One of the alleged cop killers in the shooting death of Colleton County Deputy Dennis Compton runs his mouth to the Charleston P&C and during his bond hearing. I love the mental picture of some poor public defender writhing in agony at every word.

The good stuff:

"The men have been held in separate detention centers in Charleston and Hampton counties and were separated Tuesday afternoon while waiting on a second bond hearing on the new burglary charges."

This is when one of the brain surgeons decides to give what we in law enforcement like to call a "spontaneous utterance." Rather than make the comments to police officers, who are liars in the eyes of all defense attorneys and 50% of all juries, Harris decides to record his comments for posterity to the Charleston newspaper. Brilliant!

That was when Harris told The Post and Courier that he was inside the house in Smoaks when he heard a gunshot outside. "I just heard it," Harris said. "When I went outside ... I was like, 'What the f---?' "He said he didn't get a "really good, clear look" at Compton. "I just seen he was a cop," he said.

Of course, Harris was so distraught at all of this that he and his partner continued on their crime spree over the days following the murder.

I suspect Harris has been duly flogged by his court-appointed lawyer.

Waiting for "The Call"

The good thing about having such a screwy internal clock due to rotating shifts is that I can wake up in the wee hours of the morning and get things done. Like this.

I currently subscribe to a Yahoo group for people like me who have passed all the hurdles to become Foreign Service Officers. We sit around idly, waiting for "The Call," which is actually "The Email" that offers us a position in the next batch of new FSOs. In the few years since Secretary Powell's tenure as SecState, the lists of eligible hires have increased in length. These lists are called the registers, and there is one register for each of the FSO career tracks, or "cones." Those career tracks are Consular, Public Diplomacy, Political, Economic, and Management. I am a Consular candidate. I figured consular work fit my specific skill set and experience the best, and somewhere along the line, someone at State apparently agreed with me, because here I sit on the Yahoo group, commiserating and reading tea leaves with the rest of the hopefuls.

Once on the register, a candidate "ages off" after 18 months, so getting hired is a time-sensitive thing. Lately, hiring trends have caused the registers to shrink, which makes me rather optimistic about my chances.

The Yahoo site is all abuzz right now, because State has done something that hasn't happened since Secretary Powell brought in loads of new FSOs during his Diplomatic Readiness Initiative. They are having a November class! Normally, A-100 classes (the name of the orientation course for new FSOs) are in January, March, May, July, and September. Most of us had hunkered down for the fall after the calls went out for the September class, knowing that there would not be another class until January. Needless to say, the tea leaves have now come out again. Personally, I am hoping for a call for the March or May class. If hiring trends continue, then my ranking on the register might just be sufficient for a call for one of those dates.

Bulldogs Show Lots of Good Things in Klempson Loss

Overall it was a good weekend in the Upstate. We abandoned Tater and Stinky Butt to Tropical Storm Hanna and drove up to Greenville. Mrs. Warpiper and I spent Friday night at the Downtown Greenville Friday Night Jazz behind the Hyatt. The Greenville Citadel Club threw a party just down the street at The Corner Pocket afterwards.

During the evening, an obvious Gamecock fan and amateur historian came up to me to wish the 'Dogs luck against clempson, and related some little known Tiger history to me. As most people know, clempson is an agricultural school. They drive tractors there just like at NCSU. Anyhow, this gentleman explained to me that clemson's Tiger Paw logo is not really a tiger paw. Back in the day, it was actually a cow udder. Just turn it upside down and you'll see it. Also, IPTAY did not originally mean "I Pay Ten a Year," as most clempson fans will tell you. It used to mean, "I Pull Teats All Year." So there you have it, a little history lesson in every post.

Saturday found us at Clem's Son around lunchtime tailgating and working on the beginnings of what would be farmer's tans for both of us. Note to self: next time bring an oxygen tank and coagulants for the nosebleeds. We were literally at the very top corner of the visitor's side at Death Valley. I could see Yanceyville when I stood up.

Kickoff was at 1530. The Bulldogs looked quite good. The score really told half the story- the Tigers were as good on offense as their score suggests. Our score does not, since we missed two field goals and we were picked off in the red zone twice. Not bad against what is supposed to be the best secondary in college football. Andre Roberts had a big league day, as did Bart Blanchard.

The Post and Courier article provides some interesting numbers here.

We hung more than 400 yards total offense on them and all 17 points were legit. Overall, we would have liked to have scored more points, but we are more than ready for the App States, Woffords and Georgia Southerns this year.

Saturday night found Mrs. Warpiper watching TV in the hotel room while I snored. Going from midnight shift to days to midnights to days makes my inner hibernation clock do somersaults.

Arrests in Latest Lowcountry Cop Killing

From the Charleston post and Courier:

http://www.charleston.net/news/2008/sep/09/charged_deputys_death53519/

Andy Paras reports: "State Law Enforcement Division agents charged both Travis Javon Harris, 19, of Smoaks, and Jacoby Jermaine Fields, 18, of Walterboro, with murder and first-degree burglary. SLED Chief Reggie Lloyd said he does not anticipate any more arrests in the case."

Reckon this means they have their perps.

Welcome

Here it is. Enjoy.

To friends and relatives: this keeps me from spamming you with emails that you will just delete without reading. This also helps me avoid sending all this wonderful content to your work email which will cause you to be watched closely by your employer at best, and reported to the authorities at worst.

If pictures of Tater show up on here, it is because I was not feeling particularly clever at that moment in time.